THE WHITE TIGER: STEPPING STONES: Part 4
Full Circle
Replacing the Motherboard series took The White Tiger full circle - back to the early posts that discussed both the importance and the impact of the 90 percent.
Before the last two critical elements of this journey are elucidated, it seemed like an appropriate time to reread The White Tiger from the beginning.
In this process, what was found were the stepping stones along this pathway. A stepping stone was pulled out from many of the posts and collected in the previous posts, Stepping Stones - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and in this post. The original thought was to edit and rearrange, however upon reading them, as they had been lifted from each post, it became obvious that the flow is already there - naturally leading to the final two critical elements to follow. Therefore, the content is as it appears in each original post.
STEPPING STONES
Move to Neutrality - Release the judgement that you are rendering upon your Self - it is not being rendered upon you. You are using this circumstance to validate and underline your lack of Worth, therefore Self Love continues in its imprisonment.
If you develop the habit (Intention) of looking at every life situation from this perspective you are going to find your way to your Authentic Self - which is beholden to no one - no person - not even your best friend, family , spouse, partner, children, etc.
This is the cessation of measuring your worth by external validation - which is enslavement. Using external validation to judge your worth categorically means you will not/never have a single day where you are comfortable in your own skin.
You are released from constantly looking for assurance and reassurance that you are okay…translated…good enough.
Instead, you can look inside of your Self and see your own goodness, which makes you good enough, then you do not require outside input.
No one else is your mental health and well-being.
You are your mental health and well-being.
You don't have to constantly give your Self away in order to meet the needs of others, thereby establish your perceived Worth aka being good enough.
Hold Neutrality.
Judging nothing and no one - not your Self and not any Other Selves.
Abstain - release - let go - cease.
Fear stops access to love.
Hence, Fear of Rejection stops access to Self Love.
Fear bars us from finding and living as our Authentic Self.
Fear imprisons us in the past, denying us our experience of life, which only happens and only exists in this present moment.
Fear keeps us lost in our own minds - spinning on the hamster wheel.
Fear bars us from access to Peace and Joy.
How to navigate the fear? Understand Root Cause - then you can problem solve.
Examine Root Cause-Release Conditioned belief - Move to Neutrality - Live from Intention - Create New Templates.
(Root Cause, The End of Efforting, The Law of One, Total Control, Use Your Superpower! , New Templates)
Choose to live as your Authentic Self - no matter what that means.
You can absolutely do it - if Worth is not habiting your brain cells and your psyche.
You breathe - I breathe.
We both experience life, that's it.
Nothing to do with Worth on any level.
It is all about the experience, and how we choose to navigate it.
What does stimulate the psychological appetite and feed the soul is that which offers nourishment to heart, soul, mind, and spirit. Nature, the Universe, helping Others, experiencing joy, kindness, goodness, simple pleasures - that which is found only when living as the Authentic Self - Beholden to No One.
The New Year’s Resolution
Sweeping change - sounds amazing! Let me just make a decision to change my whole life, and the way I engage with Others. Voila! My Psyche is healed! This is the equivalent of what is being asked of a client when a therapist suggests a behavior change for the client that is too big, too much, or too scary. This is the mindset of the New Year’s Resolution. It also has the same amount of longevity and statistical outcomes.
Why can you not just make a decision to change this or that, and have it happen? The answer is - the Hardwiring is now the Factory Default Setting. When you were produced on the line of life, beginning with birth through eighteen years of age, your circuits were soldered into place. The intention was survival, and survive you did. Herein lies the great barrier to change for the human psyche - what worked for your survival is now the Default Setting.
If you want a new Default Setting - you are definitively going to need a proper Rewiring!
Introducing…The Practical Manual for Replacing the Motherboard - (Subtitle) ReWiring Your 90 percent
Page One - Lesson One
Lesson One: There is no journey without the Intention to take the journey.
Desire is misconstrued as so many things. In this case Desire is misconstrued as Intention. Desire is so not intention. Desire is fully passive. It is purely based in emotion. At no point does it require, or indicate, any kind of action.
You may desire to react differently in this situation or that situation. You may desire to have control over your emotions. You may desire to stop repeating behaviors that self sabotage. You may desire to stop being reactive and cramping up your relationships. You may desire _________(fill in the blank). All of the desire in the world will not move a grain of sand.
There are Five Stages of Change. These have been well researched, documented and published. (Prochaska, DiClemente, 1984, ISBN 9780870944383)
The Stages of Change are as follows: Pre-Contemplation, Contemplation, Planning, Action, Maintenance. Depending on the resource that you may use, you may find slightly different word choices for each stage.
For the purposes of this Practical Manual - the Stages will be renamed. Our Stages of Change will be called: Pre-Intention, Intention, Planning Implementation, Implementation, Celebration.
Pre-Intention - Desire. Covered in Lesson One.
Intention - the first Act of Doing - true change begins here. This is a CRITCAL STEP. This is not a “skippable” step. Making a firm Choice. Covered in Lesson Two.
Planning Implementation - Putting the Plan in Place to make the Change - this is how I am going to do it! Covered in Lesson Three.
Implementation - Taking the 90 percent to School! Today Change Happens! Covered in Lesson Four.
Celebration - Celebrating the successful change! Size DOES NOT matter - we celebrate pee pee steps!
Rewiring!
The goal is to begin the process of teaching your 90 percent a new way of problem solving. A way that is successful.
Choosing something small, perhaps even seemingly insignificant, and being successful in it, is called - Practice (aka Repetition - Repetition - Repetition). It is absolutely no different than teaching a kid, new to music, the notes on the scale. You must begin at the beginning, and you must Practice the basic steps. You do not hand a kid a musical instrument, and expect them to play a symphony.
Practice applies to all new skills in life, including psychological skills. This creates New Templates, aka Rewiring! You are proving to your Self, and the 90 percent, that Rewiring is possible. Once your Self, and the 90 percent, grasp this reality - it will be time to move on to the psychological and behavioral issues that you would like to (also have a Desire to) change.
If you don't want your life to be the same moving forward - if you want your life, or some aspect of it, to be different, or go differently - there is only a single variable in the equation —It is not your boss, your work, your kid, your partner, your spouse, your annoying co-worker, your wishy washy friend - It Is YOU!
(Replacing the Motherboard-Factory Default Setting)
By following the steps necessary for meaningful change to occur, many things are happening.
You have taken control of the thing that feels like it was controlling you.
You have changed and shifted your perspective from defeat to clearly achievable.
You have denied and banished the idea/concept of fate.
You have shifted from the negative to the positive.
You have found that you possess an inner resource that you may or may not have known that you had.
You have opened your mind and your 90 percent to the next possibility.
You have set up the potential for being able to make any future change that you desire.
You have demonstrated to your 90 percent that you have power over the Factory Default Setting, and you are about to create an entirely new Default Setting.
We have been using the metaphor of learning the scales before playing a symphony. Congratulations! You have learned the scales! You have schooled the 90 percent!
Composing the Symphony
Practicing the scales is essential, actually critical, to being able to move on to making music that is both enjoyable in the composition as well as the consumption.
The next step is to choose other small things that you would like to change, and repeat the process, learning it by heart. Then, when you are ready, you can start the process for the bigger, more challenging things that you would like to change in your life. Those things that have deeper impact on your psyche.
You can begin to compose the symphony of your own life, as you and you alone would like it to be played.
You are no longer beholden to the Factory Default Setting. You can live your life with a completely Rewired Motherboard.
