EXPECTATION
Expectation is the secret weapon of External Validation.
Expectation is the Enemy!
If you set Expectation for any Thing, for any One (OTHER), you shift the locus of control outside of your Self.
Expectation will always lead to disappointment and frustration. Why? Because Expectations are always set around variables that are OUT(SIDE) OF YOUR CONTROL.
This is TOTAL LOSS of control.
Example 1: I expect my significant other to remember our anniversary this year. (when the significant other has never remembered your anniversary)
Example 2: I expect my friends to know when I need extra support. (when you have been frustrated with their inability to divine your needs in the past)
Example 3: I expect this new job to make me happy and be everything that I am l looking for. (when you have not been happy in any job so far)
Social media sets the Expectation of getting Likes on any or all of your posts. How does it feel when there are no likes or very few?
You do not control the memory of your significant other. You do not control the ability of your friends to read your energy/vibes. You do not control what happens in your new job, particularly your fellow employees. You do not control how many Likes you will get on any post, ever.
In my more sarcastic days, when I was dismayed and disillusioned by all of humanity at large, I would say about anyone who had disappointed me - they “had met my expectations” (which was pretty much everyone). In reflection, little did I understand how much that statement was so profoundly true.
A life filled with Expectation of OTHER, is a life filled with disappointment and frustration. If you wake up every day thinking today your family dynamic will be different or better, your job will be different or better, this relationship or that relationship will be different or better…if you are waiting waiting waiting and waiting for some THING or some ONE (OTHER) OUTSIDE of your SELF to change - you are in for a very stressful and arduous existence. You are living a life that feels like you have control over NO thing and NO one, and that is because you do not. It is a life of defeat.
INTENTION
Intention is the antithesis of Expectation.
When you set an Intention, in place of an Expectation, you shift the locus of control Internally. YOU are the ONLY thing over which you have control. Setting an Intention moves you from the passenger/back seat to the driver’s seat. You are now in command of your own Self and your own life.
Let’s revisit the above examples of Expectation and change them into Intentions.
Example 1: I am looking forward to our anniversary. I will (I Intend to) have fun in the reminding of my partner by setting up some fun reminders/things to do leading up to our anniversary date. I will (I Intend to) start the celebration early and joyfully.
Example 2: I will (I Intend to) no longer expect my friends to read my mind. I will (I Intend to) communicate with them clearly and directly when I am feeling like I need extra support.
Example 3: I am looking forward to this new job. I will (I Intend to) start each day with a positive affirmation. I will (I I Intend to) learn and grow in this new experience. I will (I Intend to) show up every day and do my very best.
Ahhhh, Release! Inhale - deeply! You are now in TOTAL CONTROL!
Super simple - stunningly powerful!
You have opened the door to Psychological Freedom!
This is the Second Skill, and when embraced as habit, as a way of life, it is Life Altering!
Intention is your SUPERPOWER!
Extra Credit: Deepak Chopra’s article on “How to Shift from Expectations to Intentions”
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The White Tiger is written sequentially. To gain the greatest understanding it is recommended, and helpful, to read The White Tiger beginning with the original post forward. All preceding posts can be accessed by clicking this link https://substack.com/@thewhitetiger