Going to Hawaii
Most of us have a “wish list” for travel destinations. These are the DESIRED destinations. I would like to go there. However, the day that we make a decision to actually go, the INTENTION is set. Yes, I AM going to go there.
You may have always had a Desire to go to Hawaii, however until you Decide/Choose - set the INTENTION - to go, it just remains a Desire. Once the decision/choice is made to go - the wheels are set into motion for that to actually happen.
Now that you have Decided (set the INTENTION) to go to Hawaii, you now figure out HOW YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN AND WHEN. You start looking at dates, flights, hotels, costs, what to pack…you start PLANNING THE TRIP. All that goes into Planning the Trip IS PLANNING IMPLEMENTATION.
Choosing to change something that has been problematic in your life, follows the exact same course, or process, used to plan a trip. We are so very good at making all psychological work sooo complicated. What we need to do to actively, and successfully, change the things in our lives needed to improve our mental health; follows the same process for Choices we make EVERY DAY in our lives! What we do not do is look at it through this lens!
The Stages of Change - Renamed
There are Five Stages of Change. These have been well researched, documented and published. (Prochaska, DiClemente, 1984, ISBN 9780870944383)
The Stages of Change are as follows: Pre-Contemplation, Contemplation, Planning, Action, Maintenance. Depending on the resource that you may use, you may find slightly different word choices for each stage.
For the purposes of this Practical Manual - the Stages will be renamed. Our Stages of Change will be called: Pre-Intention, Intention, Planning Implementation, Implementation, Celebration.
Pre-Intention - Desire. Covered in Lesson One.
Intention - the first Act of Doing - true change begins here. This is a CRITCAL STEP. This is not a “skippable” step. Making a firm Choice. Covered in Lesson Two.
Planning Implementation - Putting the Plan in Place to make the Change - this is how I am going to do it!
Implementation - Taking the 90 percent to School!
Celebration - Celebrating the successful change! Size DOES NOT matter - we celebrate pee pee steps!
The Owner’s Manual - Practicum Three - Step Three
“This is How We Do it” (Montell Jordan) - Planning Implementation
In the first Practicum Post about replacing the Motherboard we talked about New Year’s Resolutions. We talked about the reason that they are so unsuccessful is because they are Cortically based Desires, with no Intention. Desire has never moved a grain of sand.
For Practicum One we named the “New Year’s Resolution.” I desire to change this thing or that thing.
For Practicum Two we made a choice/firm decision that I do want to change the thing because of its positive impact on my mental or physical health.
So let’s pick quitting smoking as an example. Practicum One -New Year’s Resolution (Desire) - I should/would like to quit smoking. Practicum Two - I have decided that I do want to quit smoking because of its impact on my physical and mental health
Practicum Three - (Planning Implementation) - I am going to check out smoking cessation programs in my area. I am going to talk to my PCP about nicotine replacement options. I am going to see if there are any apps that resonate with me on this topic. I am going to look at behavioral intervention options, like CBT therapy. I am going to investigate hypnosis. I am going to consider keeping a journal to track my use and successes. I am going to consider replacement behaviors like chewing gum. I am going to consider joining a gym for exercise and stress release. I am giving myself one/two weeks to complete this investigation and choose an option(s) that resonates with me.
Planning Implementation is planning the trip. This is how I am going to do it. I am going to book with this airline. I am going to rent a car from this rental agency. I am going to plan these activities when I am there. I am going to go on this date.
In terms of writing this manual, and to be equally participatory, I have identified my “grain of sand” as lifting weights. I walk by the weights every day. I have a very easy routine that I do with them, the very rare times that I do it. It takes 10 minutes of my day. I would like to actually pick them up and use them on a consistent, or somewhat consistent, basis. As we move through this Owner’s Manual for life, I have decided that I do, in fact, want this to be a routine that is incorporated into my life, for both my physical and my mental health. I know that I feel great in both areas when I exercise, and it matters to me enough that I have decided to put in the work to make this change in my life. This is now my firm Intention.
Practicum Three - Over the next week I am going to put a plan into place so that I will follow through and begin exercising consistently. In terms of execution, I work best with things that are very concrete. I have decided that I am going to draw out a calendar on a piece of paper and keep it on the cabinet over the sink. This is so it is literally “in my face” every day. I have decided that I want to lift my weights five days out of seven (M-F). I will draw out 5 squares per week. To hold myself accountable, I will not allow myself to go to bed until I have put a check mark in that square for that day, after completing my exercise routine. Also, because I need an “in my face” approach, I will put the weights in the middle of the floor, where I literally have to trip over them, and will not move them out of the way until I have completed my routine. The sooner I complete my routine, the sooner I stop tripping over them.
Next week we take the 90 Percent to School!
Rewiring!
The goal is to begin the process of teaching your 90 percent a new way of problem solving. A way that is successful.
Choosing something small, perhaps even seemingly insignificant, and being successful in it, is called - Practice (aka Repetition - Repetition - Repetition). It is absolutely no different than teaching a kid, new to music, the notes on the scale. You must begin at the beginning, and you must Practice the basic steps. You do not hand a kid a musical instrument and expect them to play a symphony.
Practice applies to all new skills in life, including psychological skills. This creates New Templates, aka Rewiring! You are proving to your Self, and the 90 percent, that Rewiring is possible. Once your Self, and the 90 percent, grasp this reality - it will be time to move on to the psychological and behavioral issues that you would like to (also have a Desire to) change.
If you don't want your life to be the same moving forward - if you want your life, or some aspect of it, to be different, or go differently - there is only a single variable in the equation —It is not your boss, your work, your kid, your partner, your spouse, your annoying co-worker, your wishy washy friend - It Is YOU!