The Prisoner
We innately hold the capacity for Self Love.
This capacity is either imprisoned or held captive by the external feedback that we receive immediately upon our arrival.
For those of us with unsafe and insecure connections - our Self Love is imprisoned - locked away behind the bars of Worth - of Not Being Good Enough as we are.
The only way to set your Self Love free is to release the entire construct that is Worth. (The Measure of Your Worth, Condemnation by Construct)
Understand that the Judgement that has been passed on you is the Judgement that was passed on the Other, the parent or caregiver.
It is human behavior to operate in this way.
The only time it can go differently is with deliberate effort and deeply felt Intention.
To accomplish this successfully, what one must do is shift perspective away from the idea that stuff happens to you - trying to swim upstream against this defeating mindset.
Instead, look at every situation, and choose to use it (Intend) to work on more and deeper Release of the old mindsets that have been entrained by life experience.
If your best friend has not reached out to you for a week or more, instead of embracing fear of rejection and descending into the “What ifs”, “What did I do?”, Rejection talk - Seize upon this moment to be okay with your Self with or without your best friend.
Rejection talk will suck you into it's vortex and pull you under - drowning you in Fear.
Move to Neutrality - Release the judgement that you are rendering upon your Self - it is not being rendered upon you. You are using this circumstance to validate and underline your lack of Worth, therefore Self Love continues in its imprisonment.
If you develop the habit (Intention) of looking at every life situation from this perspective you are going to find your way to your Authentic Self - which is beholden to no one - no person - not even your best friend, family , spouse, partner, children, etc.
This is the cessation of measuring your worth by external validation - which is enslavement. Using external validation to judge your worth categorically means you will not/never have a single day where you are comfortable in your own skin.
You are released from constantly looking for assurance and reassurance that you are okay…translated…good enough.
Instead, you can look inside of your Self and see your own goodness, which makes you good enough, then you do not require outside input.
No one else is your mental health and well-being.
You are your mental health and well-being.
You don't have to constantly give your Self away in order to meet the needs of others, thereby establish your perceived Worth aka being good enough.
A Tough Gig
Being a human is a a tough gig…
We are here for the experiences.
We can use our experiences to grow into our Self or we can use our experiences to stay stuck in misery and perpetuation of the Construct of Worth, which is what the generations before us have done.
You get to choose - No judgement .
It is your life your choice.
No one should judge you for the decision that you make. No one else can make your decision about your Self, and how you want to navigate your experiences.
Not everyone will be able to let go of what is known in exchange for what is not known - it is what it is. Someone else’s life is none of our business, and our life is none of anyone else's business. This is one of the places where humanity categorically took a wrong turn with the construction of the first Ziggurats and introducing the Construct of Worth - therefore Judgement…and so it all began.
Hold Neutrality.
Judging nothing and no one - not your Self and not any Other Selves.
Abstain - release - let go - cease.
Fear stops access to love.
Hence, Fear of Rejection stops access to Self Love.
Fear bars us from finding and living as our Authentic Self.
Fear imprisons us in the past, denying us our experience of life, which only happens and only exists in this present moment.
Fear keeps us lost in our own minds - spinning on the hamster wheel.
Fear bars us from access to Peace and Joy.
How to navigate the fear? Understand Root Cause - then you can problem solve.
Looking at psychological health - the equation is not complicated.
Living in Fear is living in Fight-Flight-Freeze.
The only thing that can be found in this state is Anxiety.
It feels like prison, because it is true imprisonment - living from Expectations is living from all that has been recorded as a template from your past.
Breaking Out
How to break out?
Examine Root Cause-Release Conditioned belief - Move to Neutrality - Live from Intention - Create New Templates.
(Root Cause, The End of Efforting, The Law of One, Total Control, Use Your Superpower! , New Templates)
Choose to live as your Authentic Self - no matter what that means.
You can absolutely do it - if Worth is not habiting your brain cells and your psyche.
You breathe - I breathe.
We both experience life, that's it.
Nothing to do with Worth on any level.
It is all about the experience, and how we choose to navigate it.
There are two ways to navigate:
With EXPECTATION - suffering eternal disappointment, frustration and victimization.
With INTENTION - taking control of your life, guiding your experiences, and using them to increase your ability to live as your Authentic Self - enjoying the extreme pleasure, release, and freedom that living comfortably in your own skin offers.
One will begin to find pretention and braggadocio (anything based in perceptions of Worth) utterly and profoundly disinteresting, to the point of excruciating boredom. All that represents the inane and banal becomes like 100 day old bread in the mouth, impossible to chew, let alone swallow - spitting it out is the only recourse.
What does stimulate the psychological appetite and feed the soul is that which offers nourishment to heart, soul, mind, and spirit. Nature, the Universe, helping Others, experiencing joy, kindness, goodness, simple pleasures - that which is found only when living as the Authentic Self - Beholden to No One.