Worth
On June 5, 2018, Kate Spade hung herself with a scarf at the age of 55. She was Worth 200 million dollars. On July 19, 2024, J. Michael Cline, founder of Fandango, jumped to his death at the age of 64. He was Worth 80 million dollars. On March 17, 2014, Mick Jagger’s girlfriend, L'Wren Scott, hung herself with a scarf at age 49. She was Worth 9 million dollars.
There is no other topic as important, potent, or powerful, in terms of impact upon the human psyche, then the concept of Worth.
There is no other concept within our Society that has become as skewed, twisted, convoluted, and distorted.
The topic of Worth is worthy of taking a moment out of the No Longer Confused in Connection Series to contemplate further and deeper.
God and Money
There are only two things that can effectively and efficaciously produce Mass Behavior Modification - God and Money.
The Power that these two concepts hold is so great that it can shape and change the Behavior of the Masses, and that Power stems from a single Construct - Worth.
More Than - Less Than
Are you going to go to heaven or hell? Are you “saved” or “lost?” Are you good or bad? Are you sinner or saint? Are you sheep or goat? Are you More Than or Less Than?
Are you rich or poor? Are you upper class, middle class, or lower class? Are you privileged (monied) or underprivileged (no money)? Are you with the “in crowd” or outcast? Are you popular or unpopular? Are you Celebrity or merely common? Are you More Than or Less Than?
Thumbs up or thumbs down? Do you live or die?
Are you Worthy or Unworthy?
Are you Accepted or Rejected?
Acceptance = Worthy - Rejection = Unworthy
Construct
Construct: an idea or theory containing various conceptual elements, typically one considered to be subjective and not based on empirical evidence.
Worth is assigned - based on perception of what is valuable and what is not valuable. Hence, the source of Worth is someone’s Judgement, which is to say - it is made-up.
You are Accepted or Rejected in our Society based on the brand and style of clothes you wear, the car you drive, the size and location of your home, the number of Likes you get, the number of Views you get, the amount of money in your bank account, your perceived popularity, and the list goes on. This is the measure of your Worth. This is what determines if you are deemed (Judged to be) Worthy or Unworthy.
This is Condemnation by Construct.
Refer back to the opening paragraph to grasp the depth of how utterly meaningless this Construct of Worth. It means nothing. It is NOTHING.
Where it all begins
There are no words that can effectively articulate the degree to which this Construct has been entrained into the human psyche and passed down from generation to generation through thousands of years.
In order to understand and appreciate this you would have to study early and First people who had to cherish, support, and care for everyone in their respective communities. Their greatest asset was each other. Food was shared equally. Resources were shared equally. This is still true of intact First Nation communities.
The Construct of Worth came about with the introduction of two things - God and Money. The institutions of which have landed us exactly where we are today - cherishing Celebrity and money, and aspiring to both, now at a very young age. Judging people who do not comply with the perceived Cultural and Societal norms with scathing disdain, condemnation, and punitive action. Along with these celebrated goals, we now have a suicide rate that cannot be reined in despite throwing millions of dollars into the effort to do so.
It begins for every one of us, at an early age, perhaps even, at birth. It all begins with those first early connections, successful or unsuccessful, safe or not safe. It begins the first time a parent or caregiver lets you know directly or subtly that you are Good Enough (Worthy) or Not Good Enough (Unworthy), by either Accepting you or Rejecting you - as you are. Studied more deeply, it is easily found that the assessment the parent or caregiver has made of you is, in fact, the very same assessment that was made of them, and therefore, their assessment of themselves. Learned from their early connections and passed on to you as legacy. It continues as we move through the social programming of the education system. This external assessment of our SELF becomes our internal assessment of our SELF. And so, the psychological impact of Worth begins, and endures unabated.
Making it Stop
In psychology and psychiatry, the ultimate goal, and sign, of psychological wellbeing/stability is Self Love or the Love of the Self.
The great barrier to this goal is any feeling, great or small, of Unworthiness, of Not Being Good Enough. This is always an external struggle, however the real struggle, the real barrier, the real challenge to overcome, is the internal struggle. Once you have deemed (Judged) your SELF as broken, unfixable, weird, awkward, not normal, not okay as you are, “messed up,” “f-d up,” a misfit, an outsider, socially inept, not good enough, etc., the task of finding psychological stability becomes arduous, and often, feels impossible.
This is why talk therapy tends towards the less effective. It does not offer the solution. It becomes an exercise of walking in circles and going nowhere.
There is a solution. It is real. It is tangible. It is accessible. It is doable.
It is assimilating, pulling into your SELF, embracing, wrapping your heart and mind around - the understanding that everything about Worth/Worthiness is fake. It is a meaningless made-up Construct. It is not real. It does not exist in the Universe. When we mentally step away from all that is Society, and our upbringing - what we see are masses upon masses of people who have been brainwashed (Conditioned to Believe) into believing that Worth is a thing, and a thing that matters.
You simply stop entertaining the idea of Worth - abandoning it in full - releasing your SELF from having anything to do with the topic - complete release of the meaningless idea. If you do this, what you will find is that you are standing in a space called Neutral. And the Neutrality extends both to your Self and to all Others.
What we pass through in life are experiences, and that is the whole of it. What we do or don’t do with those experiences is up to us. That is something we get to decide. However, at no point in time does any of it have anything to do with our Worth(iness).
Abandoning the whole made up idea of Worth completely clears the table and Solves The Equation for Self Love. Once it is understood that Worth is nothing, that it does not exist, then we get to make it all just stop. Self Love is released from imprisonment and is free to make an appearance and begin to grow.
Gone are the voices inside our head, telling us over and over again that we are messed up, different, not good enough. Gone are the thoughts that if we only apply ourselves harder, more, bigger, with greater effort, we will somehow, some way, someday find ourselves feeling Worthy - and somehow miraculously believe it.
If we choose to use our experiences in life in such a way as to find and live in, and as, our Authentic Self, then the question of Worth must be struck from the psyche - abandoned, abolished.
Living as your Authentic Self is true Psychological Freedom. This is the goal that we have all been trying to reach. And reach it - you can.