THE WHITE TIGER: NO LONGER CONFUSED IN CONNECTION - The Measure of Your Worth
The Great Struggle
Understanding Ends Fear.
The 7 Core Pains
The 7 Core Pains of the human experience, renamed as the 7 Core Fears, as iterated in Part 1 of No Longer Confused in Connection, center around the Psychological Impact of Connection.
Connection is fundamental criteria for Survival. Without it we cannot establish Safety & Security and Love & Belonging (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need). Without it we cannot survive. (The Foundation Series - 2)
A child never indicts the Caregiver. The Child always assumes responsibility for failed/insecure Connection (aka Rejection), and will alter their (our) actions and behaviors, such as people pleasing, in an attempt to gain Connection/Acceptance, thereby ensuring suvival. Simultaneously, the emotional response will be altered in order to contain and repress the pain of Rejection, leading to maladaptive coping such as dissociation, emotional numbing, emotional suppression, and avoidance. The chosen style of coping becomes a hard wired template for future, in our case - current, relationships. Enter - The Confusions in Connection - Efforting for Acceptance, The Comfort of Chaos…, The Irons of Obligation Part 3a & 3b, Where I End and You Begin, Who is Accountable for What….
Rejection is Death
The source of Pain in Connection comes from the experience of, or the Fear of, Rejection/Abandonment. What is more painful in the human experience than Rejection? All of the 7 Core Fears circle back to this Primary Fear that determines whether or not we survive. Rejection is death - physical or psychological. Hence, the etiology of the Fear (Fight Flight Freeze, aka Anxiety) in human engagement. (The F-Word, Forgive Me Father for I Have Sinned)
Let’s look at Rejection/Abandonment a little more deeply within the context of human dynamic. If you are Rejected/Abandoned – there can only be a single reason – you were not found to be good enough. Rejection/Abandonment distills down to – when passed through the smallest gauge sifter – Not Being Good Enough.
What are the emotions when you are rejected from a social group? When you are unfriended? When you are rejected for a job that you really wanted? When you have received a scathing review? When your friends or family mock or bully you for a mistake that you made, or something that you did for which they did not approve?
How many times have you said out loud, or silently thought, “I am never good enough.” “I will never be good enough.” “I can never please him/her/them.” “Nothing I do pleases him/her/them.”
Rejection/Abandonment equals Not Being Good Enough.
Not Being Good Enough
Taking it a layer deeper, what does it mean to Not Be Good Enough?
Not Being Good Enough is a measure of your Worth. Not Being Good Enough, as Rejection, means you are not Worthy. You are not Worthy of Connection/Acceptance (of not being Rejected/Abandoned). This is why the Fear of Worthlessness is one of the 7 Core Fears.
Worthlessness is automatic grounds for Rejection/Abandonment. Look at the examples above-what is being rejected for the job you always wanted? What is being ostracized or rejected from a social group? What is Rejection on any level by friend or family?
It is psychologically translated into not being Worthy (Unworthy/Worthlessness), whether that is clearly consciously understood or not. Worth and Being Good Enough are interchangeable, therefore Not Being Good Enough is Worthlessness/Unworthiness, and the Fear of it.
The Great Struggle
Oh the psychological fallout around Worth, or rather, feelings of being Unworthy/Worthless(ness). It is this Negative Cognition that almost every arrow points to, in terms of psychological suffering. I am Not Good Enough/I am Not Worthy.
The psychological suffering created around Worth cannot be quantified. It is pervasive. It is ubiquitous. Rare is the time that you will meet a fellow human who does not understand having been measured by their Worth, as preceived by Other, and/also by Culture/Society.
This is The Great Struggle, perpetuated, propagated, capitalized upon by Organized Religion and Commerce-driven, Materialistic Culture and Society. Taught and embraced by humans since the beginning of Civilization (Root Cause), and passed down through all of these thousands of years - to you.
What are we fighting for?
What about all of this angst in relationships, in Connection(s)? What are we fighting for?
We are fighting for Acceptance/Connection. We are fighting to be found Worthy of it. We are fighting for our sense of Worth, and to not be counted as Unworthy/Worthless.
The Measure of our Worth
So here’s the thing…What is Worth???
Paper money is worth nothing. It is just paper. It only has value because someone said it does, and we believe it. It is all about Conditioned Belief.
Worth is a Construct. It is a thought. It is an idea. It is a Conditioned Belief.
Worth is a product of the human cortex. We thought it up. Step off of the Earth and out into Space—now find Worth. It doesn’t exist. The Universe exists, Impartial, Neutral, without Judgement.
Worth mandates Judgement (separating sheep from goats). It has to - by its very nature - by definition. The Universe judges nothing and no one. The concept of Worth simply does not exist outside of the Conditioned Belief structures created by our Religions, our Cultures, and our Societies.
The only conceivable Measure of your Worth is that you have been granted the privilege of Life by the Universe. No matter what your belief system, you are a product of the physical Universe. It does not matter how you believe that you arrived into this form of creation called Life, you are here. You are real. Somehow, some way, known or unknown, you were/are INTENDED. The fact that you are INTENDED by the Universe is the Measure of your Worth, and the measure is exactly the same for all created entities experiencing Life. Intention either is, or it is not, there are no degrees of Intention.
There is no Concept of Worth in the Universe. It just does not exist.
If you are not fighting to be considered Worthy of Connection/Acceptance - the pressure within the context of all relationships, every relationship - friend, relative, child, parent, spouse, and all others, ceases.
If you can find your way to understanding, to grasping this truth, then you will be able to Slip the Chains created by the Confusions of Connection. You will be No Longer Confused in Connection.
Welcome to a World where you do not have to factor in Worth - Zero Confusions - 100 Percent Freedom.