THE WHITE TIGER: The Foundation Series - 2
Survival is by definition a desperate and urgent business - Tristan Gooley
The first rule of survival
Unlike sea turtle hatchlings that pop out of their shells, dig out of the sand, and head off to face their world, and their chances, in the big ocean, we pop out completely helpless and utterly dependent upon whomever has been designated as our primary person(s) in this life. Our chances, our view and perceptions of the world, and by far the most important, our view of ourselves, will be utterly determined and shaped by them.
Every moment of life, following that first inhale, is ultimately about survival. If you are in diapers and swaddled tightly in a blanket and you need something, it is going to be imperative, as in life and death imperative, that you be able to connect with your designated person(s). This is the first rule of survival.
Attachment
That process of connection has a name. It is called attachment. The success or failure of securing an attachment with your person(s) will become a template for your experience of human engagement moving forward.
Evolution has put a lot of elements into place to facilitate attachment, which underlines how critical it is for survival. There are hormones, neurotransmitters, special mirror neurons, and anatomical features that all play a part in giving the newborn the best shot at connecting with (aka attaching to) their provider.
The cuteness of babies is not a happy accident. It is a critical part of the process of attachment. If you are in the mood, here is the link to a study cataloged on the National Institute of Health website about the elements of a baby that are perceived as cute and why that matters. As to why sea turtle hatchlings are so darn cute, I am not really sure…
Attachment and the development of self
There is a gentleman named Dr. Allan Schore who has studied the neurobiological processes that underpin the attachment process. Here is a direct quote from the Introduction of his seminal work, Affect Regulation and the Origin of the Self (1994):
…The beginnings of living systems set the stage for every aspect of an organism’s internal and external functioning throughout the lifespan…The child’s first relationship…acts as a template, as it permanently molds the individual’s capacities to enter into all later emotional relationships. These early experiences shape the development of a unique personality, its adaptive capacities as well as its vulnerabilities to and resistances against particular forms of future pathologies. Indeed, they profoundly influence the emergent organization of an integrated system that is (should be…my words) both stable and adaptable, and thereby the formation of self.
Safety over Risk
The most fundamental purpose of attachment is for safety, and therefore survival. Safety, in the context of a helpless infant, both means and includes getting your needs met. If you are not safe, if your needs are not met, your chances of survival plummet. If you are perfectly helpless, with absolutely no way to keep yourself safe (meet your own needs), and you cannot make an attachment with your provider, that is the equivalent of being chased by an entire pride of lions. You are in very very serious danger. Your survival is very much at risk.
And what are those needs exactly?…food and shelter, safety and security, love and belonging. Whether those needs are met or not met by your provider(s)…herein lies the… “vulnerabilities to and resistances against particular forms of future pathologies.”
This principle of Safety over Risk, in the context of developing, and understanding, attachment, and how it plays into the development of self, is so important that it warrants a clear and in-depth discussion. The video portion of this post will develop this discussion.
(The written portion of this post serves as an introduction to the video which contains the main body and most important content of the post)
The White Tiger is written sequentially. To gain the greatest understanding it is recommended, and helpful, to read The White Tiger beginning with the original post forward. All preceding posts can be accessed by clicking this link https://substack.com/@thewhitetiger