Expecting a Miracle
How is it that there can be expectation of change without ever UNDERSTANDING THE PROCESS that makes change possible - and successful?
When someone suggests, states, mandates - you should do this - you should not do that - never do this - always do that; with the expectation that by simply making this statement/suggestion/mandate, the information will somehow be assimilated, and the expected change take place.
This mindset often leads to frustration, resentment, and disgust with the Self because being provided information - do this - don’t do that - cannot be translated into meaningful change. The cycle of defeat leads to throwing the hands up in the air, and giving up, repeats. This is the INCORRECT kind of repetition (learning).
This is expecting that by thought alone, the New Year’s Resolution will spontaneously manifest. This is the equivalent of expecting a miracle. It would, most likely, be completely accurate to suggest that your Motherboard is not going to get Rewired by Divine Intervention.
Illuminating the Path
There is no journey without the Intention to make the journey. If you have Desire without Intention, there is no path, no path - no journey, aka No Change. As stated in Lesson One, Desire has never moved a grain of sand.
The setting of Intention is the first act of doing. The act of doing is making the Choice. The Choice is, “yes, I do want to change this thing.” I see the grain of sand (I have identified the Desire - Practicum One), and I have firmly decided (I Choose) that I do wish to move it.
This goes beyond an expressed Desire. This is the acknowledgement of the Desire (Lesson One), now followed by a firm choice. I am going to chart a course to change this thing.
Intention illuminates the Path.
The Stages of Change - Renamed
There are Five Stages of Change. These have been well researched, documented and published. (Prochaska, DiClemente, 1984, ISBN 9780870944383)
The Stages of Change are as follows: Pre-Contemplation, Contemplation, Planning, Action, Maintenance. Depending on the resource that you may use, you may find slightly different word choices for each stage.
For the purposes of this Practical Manual - the Stages will be renamed. Our Stages of Change will be called: Pre-Intention, Intention, Planning Implementation, Implementation, Celebration.
Pre-Intention - Desire. Covered in Lesson One.
Intention - the first Act of Doing - true change begins here. This is a CRITCAL STEP. This is not a “skippable” step. Making a firm Choice.
Planning Implementation -- Putting the Plan in Place to make the Change - this is how I am going to do it!
Implementation - Taking the 90 percent to School!
Celebration - Celebrating the successful change! Size DOES NOT matter - we celebrate pee pee steps!
The Owner’s Manual - Practicum Two - Step Two
Establishing Intention (Making the Choice)
In Step One, you identified the “grain of sand.” You named the Desire, the thing in your life that you would like to be different/go differently.
Step Two - I AM going (I have Chosen/I have decided) to put in the work to make this change in my life.
In terms of writing this manual, and to be equally participatory, I have identified my “grain of sand” as lifting weights. I walk by the weights every day. I have a very easy routine that I do with them, the very rare times that I do it. It takes 10 minutes of my day. I would like to actually pick them up and use them on a consistent, or somewhat consistent, basis. As we move through this Owner’s Manual for life, I have decided that I do, in fact, want this to be a routine that is incorporated into my life, for both my physical and my mental health. I know that I feel great in both areas when I exercise, and it matters to me enough that I have decided to put in the work to make this change in my life. This is now my firm Intention.
You do not have to do anything else before Lesson Three - Practicum Three.
Rewiring!
The goal is to begin the process of teaching your 90 percent a new way of problem solving. A way that is successful.
Choosing something small, perhaps even seemingly insignificant, and being successful in it, is called - Practice (aka Repetition - Repetition - Repetition). It is absolutely no different than teaching a kid, new to music, the notes on the scale. You must begin at the beginning, and you must Practice the basic steps. You do not hand a kid a musical instrument and expect them to play a symphony.
Practice applies to all new skills in life, including psychological skills. This creates New Templates, aka Rewiring! You are proving to your Self, and the 90 percent, that Rewiring is possible. Once your Self, and the 90 percent, grasp this reality - it will be time to move on to the psychological and behavioral issues that you would like to (also have a Desire to) change.
If you don't want your life to be the same moving forward - if you want your life, or some aspect of it, to be different, or go differently - there is only a single variable in the equation —It is not your boss, your work, your kid, your partner, your spouse, your annoying co-worker, your wishy washy friend - It Is YOU!